I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
not ubering you a puppy
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
