I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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