all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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