how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
