Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
