So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
