quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
