Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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