I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
