Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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