i just had sex bonerless
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize