sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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