Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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