her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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