I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
