East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
