Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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