i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
