ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
