it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Couch. On fire.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
