It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
