Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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