I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I am available for nakedness
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize