Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
