oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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