First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
