Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Dicks are not precious.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize