I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
