I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
