is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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