the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
