What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
