You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
