i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
