girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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