my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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