I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
