I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
His hands were made for my vagina.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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