I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
