problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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