Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
