Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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