It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
