it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
