I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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