She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
