this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
