Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
