he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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