there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
