I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
