dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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