Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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