Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
