you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
