I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize