I'm eating all of the evidence.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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